Just when I thought civilization might be approaching early adulthood, along comes another childish “My God can beat up your God,” dispute.  How could a nation so advanced and sophisticated as to have given us the electric light bulb, the power of flight, and miniature plastic sock hangers be sucked into such an unreasonable conflict?

The main reason is that, apparently, we elected Cliff Claven to the office of President of The United States.  And as his Vice-President one of the million or so monkeys assigned the task of rewriting Hamlet.

Leaders of previous civilizations ruled by fear, frequently offering virgin sacrifices to pacify whatever god they had convinced the populace had most recently frowned on their crops.  Today our leaders tell us that an imaginary all-knowing friend has insisted we convert others to our way of thinking, and failing that, kill them.  That’s what I call progress.  Obviously, fear is still a key element.

Anger is a natural by-product of this type of situation; and there is no shortage nowadays.   I think that’s part of the reason I have such respect for Randy Newman’s music.  From ‘Political Science’ to ‘The Great Nations of Europe’, he at least gives the appearance that he’s as angry now as he was in the early 70’s.  Although it’s obvious he doesn’t take himself, or the world, all that seriously, an angry tone remains in many of his lyrics.  He clearly enjoys turning a mirror on the other monkeys.

Now, where has this anger gotten us?  If used constructively, it makes small differences in little corners of the world.  That’s about all.  Rock beats scissors, paper covers rock, and fear kills anger, almost every time.

So, in the words of Jerry Jeff Walker and, of course, The Lost Gonzo Band, “Yes”, we appear to be Pissin’ In The Wind.

If we choose to sacrifice another virgin to solve this conflict, I nominate Barbara Bush.  Although technically not a virgin, I think we all feel we would have been better off if she had remained one.


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