The Hills Are Alive...


Recently, I decided to purchase, and learn to play, an electric lap steel guitar.  My previous musical experience had been limited to playing the trombone, starting in fourth grade and continuing through my high school years.  Both instruments employing some form of slide technique, I felt certain this would be a smooth transition.

You might be as surprised as I was to find out how vastly different are these two instruments.  When I got the guitar home I spent the first 45 minutes looking for the mouthpiece.  Wondering where in the world they might have hidden the spit valve, I began to tap my fingers on the exposed strings in nervous frustration.  Detecting a low ringing sound I plugged the steel into an old amplifier I’d picked up at a yard sale.

I had originally purchased the amp with the intention of turning it into a homemade milking machine then suddenly realized…I had no cows.

Placing a steel bar that I had found in the case across all 6 strings, I plucked the thinnest string in the group.

Here’s a helpful hint; always check the volume knob on your amplifier before you begin to play.

By the time my eyes had ceased spinning and had settled, once again facing front, I could see the cat had darted from the room so quickly she’d left fur quivering in mid-air above the futon.

I’ll keep everyone abreast of my progress as soon as my hearing returns and the doctor, and my landlord, say it’s okay for me to practice, again.

And if anyone sees Gwendolyn, please, send her home.


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