The Hills Are Alive...
Recently, I decided to purchase, and learn to play, an electric lap steel guitar. My previous musical experience had been limited to playing the trombone, starting in fourth grade and continuing through my high school years. Both instruments employing some form of slide technique, I felt certain this would be a smooth transition.
You might be as surprised as I was to find out how vastly different are these two instruments. When I got the guitar home I spent the first 45 minutes looking for the mouthpiece. Wondering where in the world they might have hidden the spit valve, I began to tap my fingers on the exposed strings in nervous frustration. Detecting a low ringing sound I plugged the steel into an old amplifier I’d picked up at a yard sale.
I had originally purchased the amp with the intention of turning it into a homemade milking machine then suddenly realized…I had no cows.
Placing a steel bar that I had found in the case across all 6 strings, I plucked the thinnest string in the group.
Here’s a helpful hint; always check the volume knob on your amplifier before you begin to play.
By the time my eyes had ceased spinning and had settled, once again facing front, I could see the cat had darted from the room so quickly she’d left fur quivering in mid-air above the futon.
I’ll keep everyone abreast of my progress as soon as my hearing returns and the doctor, and my landlord, say it’s okay for me to practice, again.
And if anyone sees Gwendolyn, please, send her home.
Pinhole's Shop







Pinhole, a few months ago, a friend in China sent me an email and asked me who is the greatest humor writer in American literature. I sent her a link to your site, and said it was either you or Mark Twain.
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I don't know what to say, PC...so, you think that Twain fellow really shows promise?
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So that's what that was! I'll send Gwendolyn home as soon as I can pry her off the wall. I don't think the dulcet tones from your amp scared her as much as they did the moose, whose screams, in turn, spooked her.
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Thanks, Montucky. And if you see the moose on one of your treks, please extend my deepest apologies.
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Billboard Magazine called. Apparently this latest sound is climbing the charts, and they'd like to know what you call it.
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Classic Schlock.
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Pinhole,
Set up your webcam and do this again! If you post it on http://www.nlgtv.com for the other guitar newbies, my friend Todd won't alert the Humane Society.
It'll be our secret!
I just gotta see fur suspended in mid-air!
I agree with that poetically challenged person, you are definitely America's answer to Douglas Adams, may he rest in peace.
Cheers,
Mitch
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Thanks for all the nice comments, Mitch. I appreciate the link, although nothing will likely improve my technique; and I'm sure I have nothing to offer any of the other newbies but decibels.
I'll set up the webcam, but I'm not sure I can get Gwendolyn to cooperate, again.
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On balance, I'm rather glad you went with the guitar as a use for the amp... It's a bit frightening to contemplate what Pinhole might have accomplished with a DIY milking machine!
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Yeah, that was just poorly thought out, wasn't it?
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Just so you haven't wasted money on your new electric lap steel guitar, is it possible for you to learn to play sync to ....hum.....maybe....Children of Bodom?
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I had never heard of them until I read your comment. After brief research I've come to the conclusion that their music doesn't really lend itself to 'humming'.
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Will there be a doomsday in 2012?
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The author continued in the same spirit
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Good! All would be well written
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Hi!
There are a couple of proposals for cooperation in the field of alternative energy.
You are interested in solar panels?
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I don’t know why your page takes so long to load, it took more than 2 minutes to load here ….. anyway, this was a nice read for me. Thanks
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