Cereal Therapist
This morning began typically with the cat gargling in the next room, frogs discussing current events outside my window and the neighbors firing up the violimba for a leisurely drive to work. But soon things got disturbing.
Pouring the milk over my breakfast I was sure I heard something terribly out of place. “S-S-S-Snap”, it seemed to say. I leaned in closer. “S-S-S-Snap, C-Crackle”. It was certain; my cereal had developed a speech impediment. My ear was almost in the bowl now, “S-S-S-Snap, C-Crackle, P-P-Pop”. Lord, how would I explain this to the cat?
Plodding through the rest of the morning, pouring over notes and downing thermos after thermos of Bosco®, lunch looked to be a welcome respite. Then I glanced into my alphabet soup. “kniP doyFl” stared back at me, defiantly. This simply couldn’t be. Stirring the broth, slowly the letters began to rearrange themselves, randomly, into only a slightly more coherent “dolywGnen”.
Huh?
In just a few moments my bowl had, miraculously, announced the names of one of the most talented and renowned rock groups of all time, and the given name of the cat in the next room. Almost as miraculously, it appeared my soup was dyslexic.
A late afternoon nap and more Bosco® brought peace and renewed composure from earlier events. All the same…I think I’ll skip dinner.
Pinhole's Shop
And I thought jetlag was bad.
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Each brand of suffering is unique, I suppose.
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I never trusted alphabet soup, figured there was some kind of mind meld between the Campbell's Soup Company and my bowl. It ticked me off having the soup saying "don't forget to brush your teeth" and "get your elbows off the table."
Malcolm
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No doubt, it's a conspiracy of some sort.
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Pin! What chew smokin in that pipe man?
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Unfortunately, I don't have any excuse like that for this mess. No pharmaceuticals were harmed in the manufacture of this piece.
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Now I'm nervous. First the cereal, then the soup. You don't think there'll be issues with the (gulp) Halloween candy, do you?
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Lord! I hope not! But, just in case, I'm hiding the candy corn.
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Sounds like you should be skipping breakfast and lunch instead.
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My waistline is in total agreement with your suggestion. However, my appetite is rebelling against the idea.
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I have to ask: what brand of alphabet soup are you buying? Not only do I want my soup to communicate with me, but my brand only has capital letters, unlike yours.
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The can said 'S. Dali' on it. Probably an import.
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