Dear Edna - A Post-Holiday Missive
Dear Edna,
As you have no doubt realized, I've fallen way behind in my correspondence. I can think of several lofty excuses, such as; busy refining a parody of "EQUUS" for an off-Broadway production, or my involvement with a celebrity golf tournament to promote a keener awareness of denim.
They would also be blatant lies. The truth is...well...I've simply fallen way behind in my correspondence.
You're right, communicating electronically would certainly expedite the process, but alas, I still find myself without the modern luxury of email. (The good news, of course, is that I was able to find myself at all.) I guess it's kind of like running a foot race in high heels because you're not sure you'll qualify for enough competitions to warrant the investment in a pair of sneakers. This may be a poor analogy. Honest, I've never run in a pair of high heels. In fact, I rarely break into a trot unless I get wind of a good "White Sale" down the street.
It’s been pretty exciting around here this week. Wednesday I was getting ready for bed when I thought I heard an intruder downstairs. I was sure it wasn’t the Publisher’s Clearing House people here to deliver my check…they came on Monday. (Ed McMahon says “Hello”.) I didn’t become frantic until I realized that all I had to defend myself with was a hairbrush and some old Avon cologne. Fortunately, in the nick of time, Gwendolyn coughed up a small caliber revolver. Though a little uneasy at being armed, as I made my way down the steps into the living room I must say I looked and smelled rather fresh.
Luckily, it turned out that one of the spirits who live in the basement had just left the TV on, again. Whew!
Due to the time difference between here and your place, this letter was actually sent before I had a chance to write it. So, please disregard any errors, discrepancies, or exaggerations, as I wasn’t able to proofread.
Hope your holiday was satisfactory,
Pinhole
Pinhole's Shop
A lot of people say the art of letter writing has died with email. You've not only proven them wrong, you've taken it all to the next level.
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Thank you, PC. Perhaps it's a level that should have remained unexplored.
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I'm pleased to see that you consider it of importance to be well groomed when confronting an intruder. Have you ever considered accepting a post with the diplomatic corps? I'm sure, with Gwendolyn's help...
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Yes, Montucky, there's simply no excuse for not looking your best. And it never hurts to have an armed nauseous cat around.
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I am sure Edna was/will be glad to hear from you.
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That remains to be seen.
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And here all along I've been thinking that EQUUS *was* in fact a parody...
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You're probably right. I'm always the last to know.
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I don't know why but some of your posts end up in my junk mail. Ever so often I have to make a trip in there and find them. I can't figure out why some go into the inbox and some don't....Have any explanations for it?
P.S. My cats seem to like to sit on my lap while I am typing. It is driving me crazy since they do a little typing with their back paws....does Gwendolyn need any friends?
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First of all, Gwendolyn is a loner. Even if she preferred more company, I'm not sure I could handle it.
As for my posts ending up in your junk mail, perhaps you possess a superior email program that is able to read and classify your incoming mail better than most.
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