FREAC-Y
Local O’Rourkeville inventor Thomas Alva, Eddie’s son, recently received a patent on his FULLY REWRITABLE EXTERNAL ALTERNATE CONSCIENCE. Developed, primarily, for marketing among ultra-conservative politicians and big business executives, FREAC, according to Tom, is also priced to be affordable for certain religious leaders.
Naturally, the design is top secret, but it’s common knowledge that every bit of automated equipment in the country built since 1861 was originally some sort of farm implement from the fields of southeastern Kansas. Walnut shellers from old corn huskers; conveyor belts out of obsolete hay bailers; and retired manure spreaders utilized as congressional aides.
Possibly at one time a thresher, the FREAC separates “truth” from “profits” and sorts the truth into neat little disposable bundles. Profits are then whisked away to the next machine in the process (once a cream separator) where they rise rapidly to the top.
Tom stands to exploit, er…earn… that’s right, earn millions from his new machine.
I wasn't aware ultra conservatives even had a conscience. It's nice to know there may be a slice of hope somewhere on the horizon.
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Most of us have a conscience, Ms. Zola; many people just don't give them the exercise they need to stay fit.
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Good for Tom! I only wish I'd thought of it first.
Does he have plans to develop any sort of rewritable memory module as well? You know, for dealing with those pesky congressional inquiries?
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I doubt it. Tom told me that "I don't remember" worked so well for Alberto Gonzales, developing a rewritable memory module wouldn't be cost effective.
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I am aware of other uses of retired manure spreaders!
And I am planning on introducing the FREAC to our elders in order to pay off our building expansion project more quickly.
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Yes, on more than one occasion I've been accused of being a reincarnation of that very piece of equipment.
Good luck with the expansion payoff! Tom was happy to be of help.
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Is this already on the market? Seems I've know a few people quite prone to a FREAC-out from time to time.
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I believe some prototypes have hit the public. That might explain it. No infomercials, yet.
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Tom will certainly make his millions right away with the elections going on. The only one who will make more money this year will be the one who invents a quick and easy way to bury all of those little bundles of truths. And there will be a lot of them!
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You're right, Montucky! All sorts of opportunities are likely to present themselves once these babies really catch on!
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Do you have any sort of government subsidy program for underprivileged marketers?
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Sorry, if I did I would have used the last of the application forms on myself.
Thanks a lot for stopping by, though!
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