Gang Initiation
Recently, I was approached by a local gang about the possibility of me becoming a member. Not an overtly lawless bunch, still I have heard they wear some pretty daring outfits for bookish types. A couple of them were reportedly seen sporting paisley scarves.
Given their raucous reputation, it wasn’t long before I began to wonder if I was edgy enough for this crowd. After about an hour in front of the mirror sneering, snarling and gnashing my teeth, I realized that all my flossing had accomplished, thus far, was to upset the cat. I haven’t seen her for two days.
Word has it that parties thrown by this particular gang can get pretty depraved. There are even rumors of such items as balloons and punch at these events, so you can imagine my apprehension when they mentioned a TEST OF WORTHINESS.
I recall arriving at the front gate to the clubhouse grounds and ringing the bell before everything went black. The rest of the evening is like a broken dream, bits and pieces of reality blended with fragments of laughter. My only clear memories are that my cheerleading skirt kept riding up in the back and my pom poms only caught fire once. Fortunately, when I awoke the next morning my saddle shoes and genitals were still intact.
If I passed the initiation, I hope I recover in time for the mixer on Saturday.
A test of fire passed with flying colors and skirt tails. An impressive feat. Soon you will be tagging bridges with the gang signs.
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I suppose I should stock up on spray paint.
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Let me caution you, Pin, flashing gang signs around can be dangerous....you never know when a rival gang member might be watching. Your initiation will seem like a Sunday School Picnic compared to what they have in mind for you....it could be something as vicious as parading you around dressed in black patton boots and Victoria Secret while dousing you in Chanel #5. Cruel...huh? You might want to rethink that decision.
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Lord, No!! Does it have to be #5?!
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That's the bitter irony of it all. #5 is so so passe...who wears it but really old matrons.
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Was it your gnashing teeth that drove off Gwendolyn, or was it the paisley scarf clashing with the skirt?
Either way, I hope she's okay. (And you, too, of course...)
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Could have been any number of things. But, I think she'll be fine as soon as the fur grows back in.
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You know, with how often Gwendolyn disappears, I'm starting to wonder if she's actually moved and simply coming back to visit.
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You know, now that you mention it, a lot of her stuff is missing.
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What an experience! I'm glad you survived with nothing worse than singed pom poms! Hope that wasn't too painful.
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Singed pom poms are nothing to sneeze at...it just fans the flames.
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The rougher the crowd, the rougher the initiation process, I guess. I am glad you survived, and kept your dignity intact too.
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I wasn't aware that my dignity ever was intact! Thanks!
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Cool
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Thank you, very nice post.
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