Dancing With Myself
According to my employee self-appraisal from last year, I:
1. Fed over 800 dayshift workers, during a lunch hour fire drill, with a single box of Mrs. Paul’s fish sticks and a loaf of whole grain OroWheat.
2. Cured a ham.
3. Shot Pinot Grigio out of the hall water fountain.
I’m not quite sure how to top that this year without a full-blown resurrection.
Not to mention, (or, rather, to mention ever so briefly) that in the “Plans for Future Development” section, I wrote:
1. Produce a creamier peanut butter.
2. Organize a Non-Profit around recycled arm hair.
3. Choreograph an interpretive dance routine to the tune of Randy Newman’s “Political Science”.
And I’ve barely shelled half the peanuts.
Now, my boss walks in this morning and tells me all he wants is for me to simply do my job and quit questioning everything he says.
Speaking of unreal expectations; I don’t know who the moron is, at every televised golf tournament, on every single tee box, even a 620 yard par 5, that screams, “GET’NTHEHOOOOLE!” , just as the player strikes the ball, but I wish I had his frequent flyer miles.
I didn't realize that arm hair disposal was enough of a problem to warrant developing a recycling program for it. Luckily, I can see that you're all over it.
Is it emitting greenhouse gases?
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If it is, I'm certainly not going to let it get around.
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I'm surprised to see that companies are still doing self-appraisals. The places where I worked quit doing that. I think it was because they had a limit of one deity per facility and that position was already occupied by someone in marketing.
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Multiple deities is the norm, now. I can't throw a dead cat (now offense, Gwendolyn) without hitting one at this facility. And the self-appraisals are a complete waste of everyone's time. No one knows what anyone is supposed to be doing, anyway.
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Looks like you have had a busy and productive year.
Looking forward to next year's resurrection.
Any plans yet for 2010?
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2010?! I don't even know what I'm having for supper tonight!
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I just made it through a hurricane, I've had no water or electricity for 5 days, my roof is in my front year AND backyard. I finally get on-line and what do I get? This blog and a lot of badly needed laughs.....Thanks.....Pin.....(you don't mind if I call you by your first name do you?)
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howdy anonymous neighbor, we rode out the storm here in League City and I just got power restored an hour or so ago! It feels good! And I too hurried over here for a chuckle!
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I don't know why my laptop always makes me anonymous!
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You're welcome. And I hope you and your house recover from the storm.
And, Pin is fine. I've been called much worse.
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What was the ham's ailment?
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A dearth of humility.
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I almost asked myself to dance once, but I was afraid I'd turn me down. ("Heard" that in a chat room back in the day, and have been dying to use it!)
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I'm glad I provided you with the opportunity.
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