Sitar Heroes
Posted by Pinhole at 12/7/2008 4:45 PM 
Categories: Dreams, Music, Doobie Brothers, Humor, Images, Emerson Lake and Palmer, Family
Categories: Dreams, Music, Doobie Brothers, Humor, Images, Emerson Lake and Palmer, Family
Bring yourself to ignore the glamour of the flannel shirt and steel-toed boots and I’d like to make it clear, once and for all, that I am not now, nor have I ever been, a rock star.
I’m a thief.
In the mid ‘70’s I was accomplice in robbing a young girl and her little brother of a brief unplanned encounter with celebrity. Prepubescent dreams are not to be trifled with. For 34 years I’ve been haunted by the faces of stolen reverie, and the fact that my cheesy mustache was recorded for posterity.
There were three of us in the wedding party. I no longer remember whose. This is hardly news; there are great patches of the ‘70’s that escape my recollection. Even much of the early ‘80’s are a bit sketchy.
The wedding party consisted of:
Don, aka “Onger” (Long story)
Dennis, aka “Captain Spanky” (An even longer story. One that requires protective garments just to listen to)
And Pinhole, aka “Elaine” (Don’t ask)
(Eyes have been blacked out, TRUE STORY style, in case the statute of limitations on dream quashing hasn't expired.)
Obligingly wrapped in the appropriate ruffles, and occupying time in front of a small town motel, we were approached by a boy of around 9 whose teenage sister was watching in obvious anticipation about 10 feet away. In a rather creaky voice he inquired, “Are you guys the Doobie Brothers?”
Had any of us possessed the presence of mind to realize the potential damage to these young psyches we might have responded, simply, “Yes”. Or, at the very least, “No…we’re Emerson, Lake and Palmer”. But, looking at us, it’s easy to see that, in our collective bag of possessions, presence of mind wasn’t within easy reach. All three of us just chuckled and shook our heads, “No”. The “Thud!” of fallen expectations was almost audible.
Fortunately, for the music world and listening public, we gave no consideration to the error of these misguided youth. Had we exploited our sheer lack of talent, I’m certain we would have capitalized on the success of the popular bands of the day and named ourselves “Helium Supply”, “The Strolling Pebbles”, or, perhaps, “Chartreuse Floyd”; but fate led us in separate directions. Fate, it turns out, knew exactly what it was doing.
Late this Fall, we had occasion to reconnect at my niece’s wedding.
Clowning in front of a hotel in downtown Kansas City, “Captain Spanky” decided that this was probably “Ersatz Doobies: The Reunion Tour”. We knew the planet couldn’t escape our melodious gifts forever.
So if you’re near the Airport Hilton in Napalm Springs be sure to stop in.
Thanks…We’re here all week.
We can only hope that somehow those kids will see this post and now understand that the "Ersatz Doobies" were real and turned out just fine!
Reply to this
Real? Definitely. "Turned out just fine?" I don't know, Montucky. I think that point's debatable.
Love the middle pair of pants in the top pic.
Reply to this
Don't leave me out of the free tickets to your next concert. Hope it's in the spring! I hear runway fashions are a squeeze of fresh lime and luscious lemon, or was that in my drink at the wedding? Maybe I'd better take another peek at those plaid pants.
Reply to this
Your tickets will be complimentary, backstage access. Peek all you want, but put on your shades.
Reply to this
Yes, the Cap'n was quite a trendsetter.
Reply to this
Thanks, Montucky.
That would be interesting if those kids recognized themselves in this entry. I never thought of that.
Reply to this
Ahhhh, the heart-throb of the day's gone by. I think you age well. Keep us posted on the reunion tour dates.
Reply to this
We did age rather well, didn't we? I see absolutely no wrinkles on those black rectangles on our eyes.
Tour dates to be announced.
Reply to this
The singing aside, the reunion tour sure was fun! And, oh how the fashion has improved!
Reply to this
It was a blast. And fashions change...improvement will be decided by history.
Reply to this
Thank heavens wine isn't the only thing that gets better with age. But a word of advice; fashion retrospectives are always a dangerous business.
Reply to this
Always, without question.
Reply to this
Was there a change in the fashion? I didn't notice.
Hope you're enjoying the reunion tour as much as we, your fans, are.
Reply to this
Yes, it was a subtle change, though. And we definitely enjoyed the reunion.
Reply to this
Thanks for the stroll down Memory Lane. And for letting us know what we didn't miss!
Reply to this
Rather than notice, I assume you want warning of the next tour.
Reply to this
Were the pants real or did you color in the plaid?
Actually, all three of you look like pleasant fellows even with the eyes blacked out.
Reply to this
Real. And, yes, we are pleasant fellows.
Reply to this
Love Captain Spanky's beard in the final pic! Beards and goatees are always an improvement over mustaches!
Reply to this
I prefer the full beard look, as well. I'll pass your compliment on to the Cap'n.
Reply to this
This really is a aw some post, I'm happy I recently found. I have been trying to find guest writers for my blog so if you ever decide that's something you are interested in please feel free to contact me. I will be back to look at out more of your articles later!.....
Reply to this