I'm Glad You Asked
Posted by Pinhole at 5/13/2009 1:45 PM 
Categories: Humor, Writing, Philosophy, Thoughts
Tags: Philosophy Humor
Categories: Humor, Writing, Philosophy, Thoughts
Tags: Philosophy Humor
If you took a universe and sliced it up the size of tea biscuits, how much Earl Grey would you need?
Much like the principals in the Spanish Inquisition, I’ve never really looked for answers, but have satisfied myself with trying to find more entertaining ways to ask the questions. When pressed I must admit to a certain curiosity, but not being terribly concerned with, who built the Great Pyramids, how many stars speckle the night sky, or why the chicken crossed the road. Most explanations can eventually be rendered by a subtle geometric interpretation of the color blue.
Our focus here is less on our feathered friend’s reasons and more on the unknowable aspects of the path creating the chicken’s dilemma; not to mention that of any other perplexed theoretical animals lining the byway. My guess is the road is just as confused as the chicken.
At first glance, the road seems firmly planted in reality, yet its very existence appears to be a matter of perception. Intertwined with the larger system of national roadways it can’t possibly have any sense of its own purpose, or direction. If you were to ask the road, “Where are you going?”, for instance, it would be hard pressed to give a definitive answer. Even if it were given reasonable language skills and a proper mouth, the chicken could probably give you no better idea. North, South, East, West; each toting a knapsack of truth and out for a cruise.
A properly asked question is much less ambiguous. But, care must be taken. Ask the chicken which foot he’ll move first, or in which direction, and the poor beast will probably never move again.
The road seems crowded from my vantage, everyone out for a spin and all believing they’re speeding toward a particular truth. A truth they don’t seem willing to see is constantly changing vehicles.
It’s mesmerizing to watch the blur. At some point in my life I suppose I may find it necessary to join the traffic, but until then…
There’s nobody here but us chickens.
Speaking as one of the chickens trying to decide whether to cross the road or just continue scratching away on this side, I recalled the words of Gertrude Stein when she remarked, "There ain't no answer! There never was an answer!
There ain't ever going to be an answer!"
This gives a certain comfort to us chickens, but is not very definitive. But how definitive can a buch of us dumb clucks get. Not very. I prefer to stand here and watch the cars go by and help drag the fatalities off the asphalt. Sooner or later I should get the hang of crossing and see what's on the other side, if anything. It is just hard to argue non-being against being, as us chickens say. I will be off-blog for a week, hopefully no more. I am going in Friday to have a spinal-fusion operation.Then this old chicken will blog away during recuperation. Thanks for following my blog. My best. Count Sneaky.
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Dear old Gertrude.
I always read your blog, just sometimes have nothing to add.
Good luck with your surgery, Count. I'll be cheering for you.
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After contemplating the wasted and worthless motion of the "most intelligent species", I have to wonder why a comparatively reasonable critter such as a chicken would ever bother with a human-made road.
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Gizzard fodder, perhaps.
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I am aghast. In all these millennia, has no one ever deduced that the chicken crossed the road to challenge the egg for primacy?
Duh.
Cheers,
Mitch
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In this scenario the chicken has no desire to cross, and, in fact, isn't fully aware that the road exists as we perceive it. And I'm certain "Earl?" has enough troubles of his own. And just where the heck have you been hiding?! Good to see you!
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Alas, I've found that the wicket is, indeed, sticky. Not something one wants to learn first-hand.
Thanks for asking. I may be coming out of hibernation soon
Mitch
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That'd be great.
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I am trying to leave a stimulating, intellectually valid comment, but I'm drawing a complete blank. I've been sitting out in the sun here in Fairbanks, Alaska, and my brain is a bit fried. I'll have to comment later when I'm more capable.
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I, too, am finding it difficult to reply to a non-comment. Looks like we're in a stand-off.
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I saw a pretty complex proof involving the color blue the other day. I didn't even begin t understand it, but I was pretty sure it held lots of the answers to life's complexities.
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I'm certain of it.
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Thanks for the kind words. I survived the operarion, and am now in recuperation, which is going to take some time, I'm afraid. This is my first day back blogging.My best. Count Sneaky
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I'm glad you're recuperating. I'll be by to check your blog now that you're operational again.
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The Count has been doing some more chicken research and is left with
feathers scattered around behind the garage...along with new questions like,"What would a Rhode Island Red Do?"
Work with me on this, people!
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Is Chickfil-A all there is?
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This page added to Google cache Cached: http://google.com/search?q=cache:http://pinhole.orourkeville.com/2009/05/13/im-glad-you-asked.aspx?ref=rss&ei=AFQjCNHajN_OX0kgxzx7UGA1yBfhQ poRndfWq
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Have you ever thought of adding some videos to your blog to keep the visitors entertained?
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I am trying to leave a stimulating, intellectually valid comment, but I'm drawing a complete blank. I've been sitting out in the sun here in Fairbanks, Alaska, and my brain is a bit fried. I'll have to comment later when I'm more capable.
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