Glancing Back - Part 1

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Pinhole's Blog: Glancing Back - Part 1

Glancing Back - Part 1

Posted by Pinhole at 6/4/2009 1:34 PM

Categories: Family, Writing, History, Images, Humor, Thoughts
Tags: Humor Family

Chain-smoking, sweating profusely and pacing maniacally my father felt certain he had cleverly disguised his anxiety by humming softly and casually to himself. A little over three years earlier he had almost lost his wife and first child during delivery, but they were in a hospital this time. Surely, a host of doctors and nurses could keep better track of a small woman and newborn than the clerk and night manager at Western Auto.

In spite of the previous difficulties, Mom had insisted on another child. Given that the first child had developed into a bright, genial and well-behaved little citizen, Dad reluctantly agreed. Knowledge of the risks and the fierce quiet of the waiting room only magnified his apprehension this time around. He comforted himself with the thought that, for the rest of his life, nothing could possibly fray his nerves to this degree. This wouldn’t be the last time my father would underestimate my skills.

When I was old enough to be curious about where I came from I was given the typical answer of the day involving a large white bird with a beak like a piece of Samsonite. Sometime later, on the playground, Bif Fortman outlined an entirely different and earthier explanation. All through Geography class that afternoon the only thing I could think about was what an unpleasant experience that must have been for the stork.

But that was farther down the road. For now, Dad had his Winstons, his ignorance and a two-year old copy of Life Magazine with a picture of Doris Day on the cover to keep him company, and he wondered what was taking so long. Staring at the floor tiles just long enough to dispose of a length of ash in his pants cuff, he was briefly visited by the stab of uncertainty that frequently accompanies the use of too much soy sauce. At that moment, a nurse came through the door and informed my father that he had another son.

I had arrived.

Three days later the United States Congress added the words “under god” to the pledge of allegiance. Apparently, they too had sensed an uneasiness in the air and, while on the one hand wishing to respect the separation of church and state, felt it would be prudent to cover all their bases.

Either that, or they all had the chow mein.