Closing Time
Sales attract diverse clientele. Before permanently closing the gallery where I’ve been working since before Christmas, everything was discounted by 80% of its original price. This kind of sale attracts a sublevel of humanity thought only to exist on screen, or in celebrity memoirs.
During our last week a fellow wandered in who looked as though he had just awakened and realized his backseat was devoid of adequate artwork. If he had been pondering something when he fell asleep the previous evening behind his steering wheel, it wasn’t where he last left his comb, or whether he had recently purchased deodorant.
As he made the rounds of our most prominent displays he seemed to be counting the prints more than examining them for aesthetic value. With no obvious eye for category or dimension he thumbed the inventory like an accountant on speed. About an hour later he approached the counter with three matted prints: a portrait of Robert E. Lee mounted on his trusty steed, John Wayne striking a Madonna-like pose in full Alamo regalia, and Jesus Christ.
After he made his purchase I was too busy to wonder at the mental processes that led to those particular selections, but around closing time curiosity began stalking the cat. I can certainly appreciate eclectic taste, but am having some trouble with this mix. I suppose he could put Lee and Wayne in the back windows (Wayne on the right), and hang Jesus from the rear-view mirror.
I didn’t have long to worry about it because the next morning a lady came in wearing a live parrot on her head and asked if we carried talking canvases that would mount themselves on her wall at command. I asked the name of her pet and she said, “What parrot?”
I have a feeling that my next job (providing I find one) will seem rather pedestrian.
Hi Randy,
Delightful, summertime reading. I can see that the sun didn't limit itself to broiling my brains ...
John Wayne has been getting a bad rap these days... what's he doing hanging out with those ancient warriors?
Cheers,
Mitch
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Beats me, Mitch. I guess he just enjoys their company.
Thanks
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Great post - Just subscriped to your RSS feed.. Thanks
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Thanks
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There certainly is a peculiar "sale" mentality, isn't there!
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Indeed!
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I can only imagine how much you'll miss the gallery. Sounds like quite a place. It's hard to find a job that allows you to mix with like-minded people the way this post makes it seem you have....
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Some of them, Shelly. Some of them were like-minded...some less so.
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Great post - Just subscriped to your RSS feed.. Thanks
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I hope you have another job now, but it can't be as interesting as this last one. One rule: never comment about anything above a woman's shoulders except her new hairdo. The parrot may have been her stylist. My best.
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I have a couple of leads, Count. Thanks. And I'm pretty sure the parrot did her hair. It virtually screamed 'beak'.
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Nice read. Traits of human nature are nicely displayed.
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